| Nightmare about my mom |
[Nov. 22nd, 2005|06:10 am] |
I had a terrible nightmare that began as an ordinary dream...
Well, like I said, it began rather ordinary. I was with my dad in a museum of politics. There were two wings, "Democraticy" and "Republicanism". I went down the Democratic one first, there were several cubicles where you could insert a card and have a person tell you about history. Ironically, it ended in a large bathroom. Then I went down the "Republicanism" aisle, and it turned into a rather large simulation of an office. I saw nothing but old white people for awhile, and then out of nowhere I see a Mexican guy.
He looks like a gardener, and I wave to him and then begin to climb up some escalators. For some reason, I now have no shoes on but socks (big thick dark grey ones), and despite that I can feel how hot the escalator stairs are. When I finally reach the top, the office simulation has become an airport, and some Japanese-American women grab me from behind my back and start talking about how long their trip has been. I laugh along with them like I know them, and then they're gone.
I use a computer there to check the log for one of my favorite web comics, Sexy Losers. It seems that, first off, they started using the Sluggy Freelance format; and that the author deleted all his old comics and decided to start over from the beginning. I thought it was really clever, but it made me depressed.
The scenario faded away and now the scene was quite different - I was an audience member on a late night talk show hosted by Bill Maher. The show was in a bar-like scene, and the guest of honor for the night was Dick Clark. Except... there was something really wrong with him. Like, he was retarded or something. Bill Maher is trying to selectively ask him questions so that it wouldn't be so obvious, but then Dick Clark blurted something about wanting to have sex with him, and for that brief instant he turned into a Vietnamese woman, and back again. It was bizarre and scared the shit out of me.
At that moment, I "woke up" in my bed... except I could hear the voice of Dick Clark near me, and I didn't want to turn to look. He sounded predatory; I was frightened as hell. And then... the voice turned into the voice of my mom. She wanted me. All of a sudden, my attitude changed and I wanted her too, but she was in her room and I was in mine. I said, "come get me" and then I felt something in my chest tearing at my heart. It wasn't really painful, but frightening and violating.
She kept talking to me wanting me to come and I couldn't get off bed. There was something to the side that fenced me in and besides I couldn't move anyway, being seemingly trapped in my own body, able to feel the sensation of movement without being actually able to move. She started telling me that this was what hell probably felt like, and I knew I was trapped. I tried to say a prayer, but then she inserted her own words into the prayer and it became something else entirely. Finally, in a moment of absolute desperation, I yelled, hoping that maybe it would wake my mom up in the real world, and she'd come get me. I heard the yell, but was sure my body did not do the same. I was locked in a dream, or perhaps my soul had failed to return to my body properly.
So I tried to force my eyes open. It took some time, but finally, I woke up. And everything felt cold. No... I'm no longer dreaming. |
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dannys_dreams's journal
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